Saturday, January 3, 2015

Episode 12: Sambo & Hazmatt & Bueno

The Geeks bring Bueno back into the fold, who you can now see on Drifter; become health inspectors; go see The Dark Knight; discuss Sam's technical and romantic woes; and Matt opens himself up for public humiliation.

Note: This episode was recorded way back in September.

Immigrant Song written by Page/Plant performed by Reznor/Ross/O © Null Records


  1. I'm pretty sure ID badges are just there to make it look like the people in authority are doing something about the problem of school shootings. They don't know what to do, but they need people to vote to give schools more money, so they come up with name badges and metal detectors.

    That's an important lesson for kids to learn. People in authority are incompetent and do stupid shit just to remain popular. The trouble is, most of these kids will become adults who keep being duped by these assholes in power. Three strikes, banning marijuana, the war on terror, reforming social security, they'll just keep failing for the bullshit and we'll all be worse off for it.

    As far as planning out stories go, personally I've always done a little of both. I've written three seventeen episode “seasons” of Geek Force. I know how I want the series to end, I have an ending in mind for Con Nachzehrer, too, but, it's vague. There's room for unexpected developments. I always make it vague enough so that I can add things. Sometimes I let one or another subplots become more prominent. Others times I axe a subplot.

    I know at the end of Season 2 I opted to on the fly kill off one character who was supposed to be prominent in Season 3. Season 3 was still the same basic story but reworked to make another subplot prominent. It actually tied everything together better. In my mind, at least. I don't objectively know how good most of my writing is because I keep it to myself. Fuck it, I'm writing for myself, I don't really expect success anymore. Besides, that's the stuff I am using as a draft because I'm starting over to make it an action drama series.

    I always make plot outlines out way in advance. Then it comes time to write and I decide it is shit and axe half of it. There's a lot of anxiety to my process. It seems like I make things less complicated as I write and that's where I change things. When you finally sit down and write the damn thing it makes it so much more clear.

    I also don't think there's a set way to write because it's art. There are many different methods. Some people plan it out more, others prefer making it up as they go. Both methods are equally valid, it's just a matter of finding what suits you personally.

  2. I have a friend who uses Tinder. Cliff. He pointed out that there is a chick on there who messaged him who is married and a parent. Naturally Cliff went on a tirade about how much of dirty slut this girl was, and I protested. Cliff had me beat when he told me that the girl in question bragged to him about not having a gag reflex though.

    Then one of the other people present pointed out that Cliff has a girlfriend and pointed out the hypocrisy that Cliff uses Tinder. I knew that Cliff is in a long distance relationship and that his girlfriend was due to go home soon, so I suggested that it was the perfect opportunity to cheat on her. Cliff didn't take too kindly to that.

    Then Cliff started bragging that he fucked his girlfriend five times during her two week visit but not all in one night. I told Cliff he should really be more discrete about things like that. He looked at me like I was an idiot. I told Cliff that it would be more gentlemanly to be discrete. He again gave me a blank stare.

    That's when I decided to point out to Cliff that five times is a small number. Cliff protested that he lives with his parents. I told him that I would love to fuck a woman in my parents' house. In fact, I wish my parents would go on a vacation and then let me dog sit. I would bring two girls to their home and fuck them right in the living room. Cliff is a tightwad about these things, so I told him to just fuck his girlfriend in his car.

    While we're on the topic of relationships, I think I should share observations I made about Valentine's candy. I had to help set Valentine's candy this morning at work and I noticed that they make Valentine's candy corn now. It's almost like a way to tell your significant other you don't care about them at all without hurting their feelings. It's like a way you can end a relationship without breaking up with someone on Valentine's Day. I feel like Valentine's candy corn is one of those tricks women play on me because I date unhealthy people.

    I always fall for those. Like when a woman tells me I don't have to worry about getting her birthday gifts. I assume she's not a child and has a mastery of the English language. Then a month later it gets brought up in an argument.

  3. I don't understand any of the double speak or cute rituals associated with relationships. I just wish it could be straightforward like a business transaction. Humanity invented this thing called language. It's been in use ten thousand years, got us to the top of the food chain, it's worked out pretty well, we should use it. No more double speak. That's something I admire about homosexuals, they make it more straightforward. That's the ap I'd make. Do you want to fuck? Yes? Ok, time? Done. You could even set a schedule of times that work for you. List of sexual likes and dislikes, favorite positions, fetishes.

    I also have a full time job. My apartment is the way I like it. I don't see why I should change my living space or spend money to accommodate some other selfish person. I also hate children. My first thought when Sam asked why people would make up Krampus for kids was, “Because it's fun.” Fuck them. Maybe they'll stop being so scared when they learn logic and reason.

    I feel like I would be a terrible father. I'm fucked up, and so would be my offspring. I dislike our society and it's values. I feel like our society is all about the supremacy of the Id. Everything is about the worst of humanity.

    They say you shouldn't tell young girls that they're bossy. Show them that they can be leaders, too. Just like boys. Fuck that. Promote equality by not raising your son or your daughter to be an entitled little shit. The last thing the world needs is another slick fast talking asshole. Teach your children to have some god damn humility. It's sad that the epitome of American success is a Used Car Salesman. Just talk a big game and be narcissistic about yourself.

    I hate how human dignity became self esteem, self pride. Kids should not be showered with pride and endless praise just because they came out of your ex wife's vagina. They shouldn't be told that they're destined for greatness. Being a leader is not something everyone is meant to be. Being a leader is a reward for hard work. You have to have some knowledge first before you can lead.

    The world needs more grunts than leaders. A leader could have the greatest plan and it would mean nothing without people to execute it. We don't all have worth because anyone can be a leader or rock star. You shouldn't have to attain those things to have value. All people have worth because even the most diminutive among us has something to offer. We all have worth because humanity climbed to the top of the food chain by cooperating to hunt prey.

    In honor of bad high school writing I'm just going to end this rant here.